i am only happy ♥

"If what doesn't kill us is making us stronger We're gonna last longer"

2005-08-04T05:34:12Z

ok so i got these engery dietary thigns so hopefully they r going to work and plus i am running trieing to loseweight cuz i am a fat ass haha so hopefully i think so far they r working half way lol if at all lol but isdk yet

friends only bicthes!!!!!!!1

2004-08-27T02:26:03Z

i have a headach!!!!!!!!!11

2004-08-27T01:42:14Z

ok so ya i woke up early 1230 lol!!!!!!!! then i went over ashleys and we cleaned well i did like a little she clean more then me hehe i am not a good cleaner but thats all good!!!!!!! and we chilled lindzay came over and then she lefted after a lil with chillen to go chill with sean then pat came over he is so fnny lol!!! then ya we chilled then i went home went to bk with my mom and i saw my john cena on but he losted no surprise lol but he is still hot and sexy and omg and he is still mine hehe and ya matt hardy got hurt last monday on raw omg i love matt hardy to but i love his bo jeff better haha lol wrestling is so funny cuz of how fake it is hehehe but w.e so ya i am going to go wacth more wrestling peace out!!!!!!!!1

all u need is friends and famile

ashley you have both so dont you worry we are here for you always no matter what!!!!!!!

ShMiLy

idk!!!

2004-08-26T05:28:22Z

ya i am writeing in this cuz i am bored lol ya i think i am going with allison and her fam for her bros b-day today to cannobie lake park which is kool i havent hung out with her in a while and i know mike wil hate me for it but i dont care cuz she is nice i just didnt like her when she was going out with mike cz when people go out with mike the mean them starts to show they get all bossey and think that they can piss me off like someone does when they make fun of me with mike i wont metion the name but ya so ne ways!!!! omg ashley i know you are going though alot of shit right now and and dont worry cuz i am here for you no matter what if you need to talk or just a schoulder to cry on i am here for u i always was so dont you worry and you dont have to explane ne thing cuz i know that you cant and its all good cuz i am gere 24 - 7 no matter what luv ya girl bffl

shmily

"this may never start we could fall apart"!!!!

2004-08-25T04:01:47Z

ok ya so today i got to get a cd hehe sugarcult i am so happy cuz i love them and theey are awsome and this weekend i am getting anther one of there cds hehe i cant waiti am going to go and listen to my cd now peace out!!!!!!!!!!!

"that what you get for falling agian you can never get him out of your head"

2004-08-23T03:10:53Z

ok s ya iavent written in this about the concert cz my comp is really fucked and keeps pissin me off lol so ya thats y!!!! but i will write now cuz i love the concert warped tour kicked ass lol i loved it!!!!!!!!!! so wensday dezi and me went to go see the pats omg they r really hot lol ya so we spent time there then we rent the perfect score and then we went to bed early t get up adgo to the warped tour hellz ya we went ad the line was sooo long!!!! then we went though the gillet staudim and wacthed the pats agian hehe then we went all th bands were awsome it i so awsome to listen t all the bands and hearthem singall thesongs you love and everyonewas nice like in the mosh pit when people fell down everyone aroun stoped and help them up and ask if people were ok lol it was great!!!!!!! i loved them all all the bands were so awsome haha i went crwd surfing haha it was awsome!!!!! i got a shirt and then a free hat that said warped tour 04 and when iwas in the mosh pit i lost it lol that sucked but at the time i was like who gives a shit and then after the concert and now i hate that i lost it lol but ooo well lol!!!!!!!!!!! so then later we went to thetruth truck thing and they were awsome they gave out free things and shit it was so kool and this one girl was askin to get anther free shirt cuz she said she got beat up at the yellowcard concert lol and they were like r u sure u were at the yellow card concert lol and they were saying how if u go to ne concert and is in the front then ur gonna get beat up lol so then they were redoing the girl getting beat up it was so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then they ran out of shit to give out but then mmy fav band came on hehe cheatin soccer mom omg i love them and the backround ya that is chris from cheatin soccer mom i love him and paul i took so many pics hehe of them mostly cuz with all the other bands we were in the mosh pit and it was wicked hard to take pics lol but i got 2 of yellow card and ya everyone was on stage of yellow card before they went on and every band was drinking and it was so funny like guys from new found glory tryin to hook up with all these girls it was so funny!!!!!!!!! and omg lol the used came on and bert he jumped onto us lol to crowd surf how awsome is that lol i know it was great and flogging molly irish music is so awsome everyon was danceing they are so good lol i love them to!!!!!!!! ya so then it was over and we left but we had to walk and everyone was walking it was the longest i ever stood lol but it was all worth it i love concerts i am so going to the warped tour next year to it is by far the greatest concert ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! i saw a few people i saw becky and jill and then i saw allison amanda and i forgot the other kid lol even though i use to sit by him at lunch but its all good lol and amanda was freaking out cuz the used were going to sing and she loves them lol so it was good to see them!!!! ya i will try to post pics of paul since i have the one of me and chris up already hehe!!!!!!!1

here on earth!!!!

2004-08-16T22:28:55Z

she schould of went with my josh i am still mad at her lol but that just leaves josh for me hehe

"your just going to die and give up. No i am going to live just not as long as you are"!!!!!!!

2004-08-16T22:18:20Z

ok so me and alana wacthed summer slam hehe and john cena won hehe of coruse he did i was so happy lol we were talking bout how fake wrestlin is even though i love my man cena hehe it is all so fake butreal nice to wacth hehe!!!!!!!!!! so ya ad toay i jus got done waxcthing here on earth one of the sadest movie i hate how she didnt love josh the way he loved her she would of been so happy with josh that is one of the mmovies that will never have a happ yending cuz its a movie that isnt fake but is reality that is life that movie i was like crying when i saw josh and he is so good in that movie omg i love josh now lol i am going to wacth pearl harbor now hehe ok i will write later much later peace!!!!!!!!!

Death is the greatest mystery of all!!!!!

2004-08-13T01:46:24Z

ok umm ya welli had anxiety last night and i started crying so bad so i went down staries cuz i could deff not sleep and i didnt want to sit in my room so i was downstaries for a little then my mom came down to get ready for work and she started to yell about how i schouldnt be up and shit and i was like w.e and went upstaries cuz i cant talk to her about what bothers me ever so ya then i was fianlly able to fall alsleep after reading about wat i was so upset and worry about i always wonder and wondering truns into fear and worried when i think about it but last night was bad so ya but i dont really want to talk about it!!!! so ya then i woke up at 2 somethin and then i took a shower and started cleaning me and my bro went to the store to get some stuff and then i came home to wacth bb5 haha jase is out i aqm so happy i didnt like him to much but he was kinda funny at the end!!!!! well hopefully i am better from last night and i wont get any anxiety and have a breakdown and start crying agian well i am going to wacth movies now!!!!! oh ya today is my cuz pauls b-day he is getting older lol so idk how he is doing with it since he hates that fact lol!!!!!!! and also it is ians b-day to i think it was weird when me and ian went out i found it werid that he had the same b-day to like one of my fav cuz lol and they live near each other to lol well i g2g
happy b-day paul

these are songs of thornley!!!!!!!!!

2004-08-11T05:19:41Z

I know this comes as no surprise
but the wool's been pulled over our eyes for years
And all the while we sit with our legs crossed
as some poor bastard finds he's lost ten years

That's just another day I live inside my head
I'm tired of all the ways that I wish I was dead
It's been so many years I've finally figured out a way to keep a good man down

I locked you up and threw away the key to all your better days, my bad, my friend
There's so many things you'll never be, many things you'll never have, so sad, oh well

That's just another day I live inside my head
I'm tired of all the ways that I wish I was dead
It's been so many years I've finally figured out a way to keep a good man down

I see you coming up the drive
That's when I know that I'm alive And all the things we'll leave behind
We finally found what we can find

The rest of my life is falling to pieces
While we get lost inside the moment

The waves keep crashing at my door
'Til I can't hear them anymore
And all the time I gave away
Made me who I am today

The rest of my life is falling to pieces
And where would I be now without you baby

The rest of my life is falling to pieces

The rest of my life is falling to pieces
While we get lost inside the moment

The rest of my life is falling to pieces
And where would I be now without you baby

I feel a little bit left of center
but then again we've all been there before
Every time I see a lost cause coming
it's nothing less, nothing more
Every time I get lost in paradise
I find a way to screw it up somehow
It's not the way it's supposed to be
but it'll do for now

When you're right, you're right
Everything else in my life just might be wrong
You're wrong all the time

So far so good 'cause no one knows I'm faking
I wish I could show you the toll it's taking
Sometimes I live as if there's no tomorrow
So far so good

I better find a way to cross my fingers
half the luck'll get me twice as far
I'm sick and tired of coming up for air
it shouldn't be this hard
Every little bit'll help I wonder
if it's enough or did I cross the line
The kitchen counter is a bad reminder of a better time

When you're right, you're right
Everything else in my life just might be wrong
You're wrong all the time

So far so good 'cause no one knows I'm faking
I wish I could show you the toll it's taking
Sometimes I live as if there's no tomorrow
So far so good

When you're right
Everything else you messed up just might be wrong
You're wrong all the time

So far so good 'cause no one knows I'm faking
I wish I could show you the toll it's taking
Sometimes I live as if there's no tomorrow
So far so good

As a child I found myself alone
Always walking in defense
Here they come again
All I want to do was just get home
But I'm pinned to the fence
But here they come again

I walked home all alone

All this and more
All this and more

I guess this is living
Would you come again?
Could you come again?
I never quite feel right
But I come again
Would you come again?

Yes I've become a rock and roll cliché
Because I 'm looking for revenge
And here they come again

I still walk home alone

All this and more
All this and more

I guess this is living
Would you come again?
Could you come again?
I never quite feel right
But I come again
Would you come again?

All this and more
All this and more

I guess this is living
Would you come again?
Could you come again?
I never quite feel right
But I come again
Could you come again?

I guess this is living
Would you come again?
Could you come again?
You never quite feel right
But you come again
Would you come again?

What's the going rate on life vs. love?
What's the going rate on heaven up above?
I feed on the plans that I've made up to now

What's the going rate on accountability?
What's the going rate on you vs. me?
I'm far from the walls and the trust that keep me here

I'm stuck in the mud, it's stuck in my mind
How we're running out of time

Bent out of shape but I'm on the up & up
Pulled out my roots, yes I have
Wasted so much on everything but this
It's my fix, it's my fix, it's my fix

What's the going rate on making this thing right?
What's the going rate on staying out all night?
It's hard to believe in the things I trust the most
There's so many signs, how many ways
Can I deceive my yesterday

Bent out of shape but I'm on the up & up
Pulled out my roots, yes I have
Wasted so much on everything but this
It's my fix, it's my fix, it's my fix

Can you be bigger than this?
Can you be stronger than this?
We're counting on you
Everything's waiting on you
Everything's focused on you
To do what you should do

Bent out of shape but I'm on the up & up
Pulled out my roots, yes I have
Wasted so much on everything but this
It's my fix, it's my fix, it's my fix

Early morning hits
I found a way to get out of this
Underneath your desk
I carve your name across my chest

I got off my hands
I got on my knees
Now I know I'll pave the way
To paint your face with greed
I got up off of my knees
I got up on to my feet
And then I found that I paved the way
To pay for your disease

Well easy comes but here we go again

Just take two of these and call me later on
Everything is cool, you can borrow what you want
I've got the necessary tools to get you through the day

It doesn't matter who you are
because there ain't no other way, go on, go on

Now I spend my days
Occupied in different ways
Orange afternoons
Soap-box preachers and jail tattoos

Well easy comes but here we go again

Just take two of these and call me later on
Everything is cool, you can borrow what you want
I've got the necessary tools to get you through the day

It doesn't matter who you are because there ain't no other way, go on, go on

Easy comes and easy goes

Well easy comes but here we go again

Just take two of these and call me later on
Everything is cool, you can borrow what you want
I've got the necessary tools to get you through the day

It doesn't matter who you are because there ain't no other way, go on, go on

Wake up, medicate, again
Ever after is a friend
But you and I we get so high
We never quite came down
Ever after again

What could be more beautiful than you
and I falling from grace
All the things we'll never know
so beautiful they're slipping away

Light my past on fire
Spell it right in black and white
A coward's here for hire

What could be more beautiful than you
and I falling from grace
All the things we'll never know
so beautiful they're slipping away

It's beautiful (slipping away)

It's time to pack up and vacate
I'm so fed up of closing up
And running from myself

What could be more beautiful than you
and I falling from grace
All the things we'll never know
so beautiful they're slipping away

Wake up, medicate, again
'Cause ever after is my friend

On my way back from nowhere now
Always tell by my breath somehow
There's no songs worth singing out there
The landscape of inspiration's so bare

No straight jacket on me

Eat my breakfast with employees
And they push this thing even further still
Which they knowingly try to kill

On the bright side
There's never been a right side
Of love to lay on
Remembered or forgotten

You keep it coming, you pour it on
This conclusion is not forgone
When I get lost inside a dream
You know it's time to scrub and to quarantine

On the bright side
There's never been a right side
Of life to live on
Remembered or forgotten

On the bright side
The morning kills the night time
Your life is your time
Yesterday's just a past time

Crush my only nerve
Overstate what you deserve
Crawling on the floor
One can see under the door

You're so clever, you never
Said we would last forever
I twist it, I missed it
Can't keep this thing together

Said hey, no way
Can't deal with this today
Yes I guess you're so clever

Crack your ready whip
Gentlemen shoot from the hip
Throw my fears away
I can't afford them anyway

You're so clever, you never
Said we would last forever
I twist it, I missed it
Can't keep this thing together

Said hey, no way
Can't deal with this today
Yes I guess you're so clever

(Bridge)

You're so clever, you never
Said we would last forever
I twist it, I missed it
Can't keep this thing together

Said hey, no way
Can't deal with this today
Yes I guess you're so clever

How could you show me that life's worth living
I'll never live it with you
And every time there's a gift worth giving
You won't let me give it to you

When everything was right Oh Oh
Now everything seems wrong Oh Oh
The last words spoken

I found another way
I found another way
I found another way
And I want you notice

Empty houses are full of promise
So many things you can do
And every time that the phone starts ringing
I can't help but think that it's you.

When everything was right Oh Oh
Now everything seems wrong Oh Oh
The last words spoken

I found another way
I found another way
I found another way
And I want you notice

When everything was right Oh Oh
Now everything seems wrong Oh Oh
The last words spoken

I found another way
I found another way
I found another way
And I want you notice

I never'd have guessed
you and I would be friends
I'll never say never again
I've spent hours on the phone
and all the rest
I guess I bleed the best
And every night it's plain to see
it wasn't meant to be

After all is said and done, it's over after all
You barely cried as you waved goodbye

It all comes out in the wash
Who would've guessed it would wind up like this
It's better than never again
I've spent hours in the rain and dried out somehow
I'd rather plead the fifth

And every time the morning comes
I wonder what I've done

After all is said and done, it's over after all
You barely cried as you waved goodbye
It all comes out in the wash

Empty cars and phone booth scars
Knuckles on the mend
Every time I go too far I'd rather wind up
Rather wind up dead

I should've guessed it would end up like this
I'll never say never again

After all is said and done, it's over after all
You barely cried as you waved goodbye
It all comes out in the wash

i am so pissed!!!!!!!!!!

2004-08-09T02:19:39Z

ok i hate people omg ok pete is an ass i hate people i fucking hate them they make me feel like shit and i hate it i cant stand it omg!!!!!!!1 pete is getting so many people to fucking make fun of me and shit and he says he is going to get ashley hefforn after me fuck that i hate him so much he is calling me fat and ugly and keeps on going at it and makeing fun of me i hate when people make me feel worthless like this i am so depressed right now!!!!!!!!!! i want to move to ohio i am going to talk my mom into letting me!!!!!

ohio!!!

2004-08-08T03:32:29Z

i miss it sooo much ok well i will write now since i am doing better lol!!!! ok so firday the ride was so long when we fianlly got there this funny thing happen but its embarrsing lol so i am not sayin but ya lol haha it was great!!!! we went out to eat and it was fun really nice to see andrew and then we went to his place and sandy just got there so i got to see alexia and dylan omg i love them so much and they are so cute hehe!!!!! and then saturday we babaysat the kids and it was going good but when i was in the bathroom my sis and alexia were in the other room and then all of a sudden i hear my sis screaming and i stared running when i heard alexia crying and i went in and couldnt see lexia but heard her so i started screamin and she gave me dylan while i was freaking out so dylan started crying and i saw blood and i freaked out what happen was she was on the bed and in the tairlor the door if u lean on it it opens and that is a door to outside so she did and fell onthe gound and her nose got hurt so i had a breakdown in the bathroom it was horriable it was the worst i ever felt i was so upset i love her soo much and that was the worst feeeling ever omg so ya then she was ok so nothing really bad happen just a mark on her nose so ne ways then we went to the wedding it was awsome at the party after everyone was getting drunk it was so funny and we got to see mike from pa and he is still hot lol and he grew up alot he has a nice gf name angle she is so nice me her and mike were trying to get my bro and my new sis sandy to dance they didnt!!!! so then we went home with the kids well me and my mom did but mike stayed to get wicked drunk lol then went home with my other bro lol so then sunday we babysat alot of the day then we went shopping for the kids hehe we got alot of cute things and we got alot of good dvds it was awsome then me and sandy went to kmart to shop with the kids and it was fun and then i got candy cholcate lol and it was hot obviously i wasnt thiking cuz it melted and she got it alll over her lol it was funny!!! then monday we just dat around and played with the kids then tuesday we went to this acres of fun lol and it was just like one of thoes places where u can play games and get tickets and then get something with the tickets and it had a little play thing for kids and there was the ball thing with all the balls lol and alexia loves balls lol so that was good so then we all started getting alot of tickets so we could get lexia this elmo lamp lol we only got 457 so that wasnt enough but they will go back and get more so they can get it lol!!!!!!! so then we went to puizza hut and the lady was a bicth lol and it was funny then we got dylan from sandys mom and then wesday we went to the carnical it was awsome i went ont his one ride with sandy and mike and it was awsome then they went on the top gun lol but i didnt it was horriable lol then we went and waited for andrew lol for ever and mike me and sandy were trying to find me a guy haha it was funny then we all went and ate and then me and sandy and mike went to go on rides and sandy held my arm to go on the zipper omg it was horriable lol we didnt start we just got up to the top when they were loading people on and i was holding on to mikes arm and he was like u r going to wwant to hold on to the bar and i was like no and he was like well i do and he was right lol i was freaking out lol then they want me to go on the top gun i was like hellz no i was freaking out omg it was horriable lol so then after they got off we went to rhis thing where u jump on lol and it was 6 dollars each person and we talked them into leting us each pay 3.25 lol it was funny and jumping was fun they let us stay on for as long as we wanted haha lol sandy is awsome then we went on some more rides shannon went on a little fast ride with me and mike and she was puting her hands up lol so then when lexia went ont he kiddy rides she was puttin her hands up it was so funny and cute aww!!!!!
so then we went home and then thursday we took them to dinner but we went to the store where the dvds r like 5 dollar and same with some cds and some cds r like 250 to 50 cents lol and the mvies r cheap to so we got alot then went t o dinner and it was our last night so i was sad so when we woke up i said goodbye to andrew and it got harder and harder and i held dylan and alexia was still tried cuz she doesnt like getting up early and she didnt understand we wont see each other so she didnt give us a hug or kiss i was so sad when we started to pull away all the tears fell out the hole 12 hours i basically cried when we got home i still cried and then we called them and i talk to alexia and there was this thing where at the wedding me and alexia played with a phone and i would say no way and then she would say no way and then i would lol and we kept sayin no way the hole time it was mine and her thing lol so i needed to see if she would it cuz i felt bad that would be my good bye from her lol so i was like no way and she did to it was so nice to hear her say that lol and my mom was talking to my bro and told him and i cried the hole time lol it was so sad and then i cried myself to sleep i cried a little today evey now and then but i held myself togther at my cuz b-day party and we got picturs aww and iam sad cuz there isnt one of me and lexia aww but we have anther one so we will get it donme tomorrow but i am going to go cuz i want to wacth a movie and ya but that is about it lol then maybe bed while looking at the pcitrues and crying lol but i will write baack later

back from ohio

2004-08-07T03:52:22Z

i love ohio and i miss everyone alexia and dylan and my bro and my new sis sandy awww so many good times i have been crying the hole time and i dont know when this will go away i miss alexia and dylan sooo much it hurts well i dont want to talk about everything that happen right now cuz i am to sad

ya i am leaveing tomorrrow hehe!!!!!!

2004-07-29T08:18:27Z

ok so ya i dont know what to say omg ok monday was danielles b-day happy b-day danielle and we went to the zooo!!!!!!!!!! i love aniamls so i was so happy hehe and ya so then this week been just boring lol nuttin exciteing but today pat and ashley said how it looks like i lost weight hehe go me but i no i didnt lol but thanks ne ways u guys that was wicked sweet to say hehe what a nice lie lol oh ya and saturday i got a hiarcut and me of coruse gets all dramtic about everything so i think it is tooo short and i cried for like ever over it it was really depressing ggggrrrr i hate the hair lol well ya i am leaveing tomorrow for ohio hehe maybe i will fine me a nice ohio boy hehe ya right lol but ya my bro is getting married hehe saturday i am so happy for him hes been though a shitload but he truned his life around and is doing awsome and he made me a auntie hehe u cant ask for more hehe i fianlly get to see my new nephew i cant wait and i get to see my neice she is gettiing sooo big aww i feel old lol!!!!!!!!!! i am going to be balling my eyes out on thursday when i have to leave them i always do its so depressing knowing u wont see them till like forever i hate it omg and i have to see bruce the so called "father" who we havent talked to in forever or seen in forever and when we knew him he was an ass so ya not looking forward to that i am hopeing something happens to him so we dont have to take te chance of seeing him i hate him with passion!!!!!!!!! but ya so i think i might go to bed now cuz i need to get on a better like sleeping thing even thought i cant sleep so ya this sucks!!!!!!!!!! but ya w.e so comment bicthes lol

hehe just got done wacthing my john cena dvd hehe so i am going to put this shit up hehe!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-07-25T00:39:14Z

"So... you think you're untouchable?"

[Chorus: John Cena - scratched by DJ Chaos]
Word life! This is basic thugonomics
This is ba-basic thugomoics
Word life! {*scratching*}
"I'm untouchable, but I'm forcin you to feel me" - Esoteric
Word life! This is bas-{*scratch*}
Basic thugo-{*scratch*}-thugo-{*scratch*}-thugonomics
Word life! {*scratching*}
"I'm untouchable, but I'm forcin you to feel me" - Esoteric

[Verse One: John Cena]
Whether fightin, or spittin, my discipline is unforgiven
Got you backin up, in a defensive position
An ass-kickin anthem, heavyweight or bantam
Holdin camps for ransom, the microphone phantom
Teams hit the floor, this the new fight joint
Like a broken needle kid, you missin the point!
We dominate your conference with offense that's no nonsense
My theme song hits, get your reinforcements!
We strike quick with hard kicks, duckin ice picks
Bare-knuckle men through fight pits, beat you lifeless
Never survive this! Get forget like Alzheimer's
Two-face rappers, walk away with four shiners
The raw rhymer, turnin legends to old-timers
My incisor's like a viper, bitin through your one-liners!
New Deadman Inc. - and we about to make you famous
Takin over Earth and still kickin in Uranus!

[Chorus]

[Verse Two: Esoteric]
You ain't advanced enough to process potential phonetical concepts
The objects are foreign, like blot tests
Sponsored sex, a complex, regardless of your finesse
or your fitness, it's the condition of business
Your lame vision of a underground, physical image
You're underneath to undermine your whole, typical image
With the precision of percentages, and the collision of sedatives
Poetry, beats, and mics - we untouchable
like righteous sluts with no crevices
Streets unite, we rock right over dumber beats
Yo' cats couldn't come this hot if they {jerked} off in the summer heat
Forget two takes, kill y'all birds the first time
Yo' best {shit} ain't, worthy of my filler or worst rhymes
I'm better than nice, check the veteran stripes
Leave you beside yourself with fear, I kill you, and bury you twice
Despite the cover of night, trackin' your flight
Like guerilla warfare, where the grass is dense
Approachin me is a quick way to get referred to in the past tense
Dead that! When the light to mic is on
The crowd is dead like the intermission when you on the Titantron

[Chorus]

"you cant see me"

3 doors down omg love them i saw them hehe!!!!!!!!

2004-07-21T04:18:47Z

"Changes"
3 Doors Down

I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
It feel like I've been buried underneath the weight of the world

I try to hold this Under control
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm going through changes, changes

I'm running, shaking
Bound and breaking
I hope I make it through all these changes

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it

Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes

boredom!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-07-20T06:49:44Z

ya so i decieding to update this becuase i am bored and its almost 3 ya i am leaveing for ohio in 10 days i am wicked happy i cant wait to see them all omg i cant wait ya well i am going to wacth the perfect storm and maybe bed not sure lol welly ya peace out

OMG I FOUND PICTURES OF THORNLEY THE OTHER BAND WE SAW HHEEHE ENJOY!!!!!!!

2004-07-14T07:53:08Z

THORNLEY

ken hehe isnt he sexii he is soo hottt omg he has thisdance where he gets all low and dances around i have new obssesion hehe heres more of him

ok so now that u looked at ken the hottest one u could look at the other cutties of the band!!!! hehe

haha that is the funny one of ian where looks stone haha

i wil do more tomorrow time for bed hehe

emclovesnoyb @ 2004-07-14T01:28:00

2004-07-14T05:36:13Z

PUDDLE OF MUDDD

NICKLEBACK

3 doors down

THIS WAS THE BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-07-14T04:43:37Z

ok so me and desi went to the concert and first band that came on was Thornley and they kicked ass there was this one guy in the band who had this fucking awsome mohawk and he danced awsome it was fucking great and then holy shit i have to control myself PUDDLE OF MUDD came on and i freaked the fuck out cuz i didnt know they were going to be there and they played blurry and SHE FUCKING HATES ME and when they played blurry before they did they were like ya we have a new song and they said like chicken and fries or something like that and then they started playin and everyone flipped out lol it was great and then when they were doing she fucking hates me everyone was singing and freaking out it was awsome lol and then with one song he was like this song goes out to all the girls and he was like the song is called sleeping around lol he was great i am so happy i met them they fucking rocked then 3 DOORS DOWN came on holy fucking shit they were awsome and they had all there fucking awsome songs and there was a video to love me when i am gone and it was sad and happy cuz it was bout all our troops and we all starting chanting usa and it was great with concerts no matter whos there people all get togther and just fucking rock and they dont worry or critize ne one and it doesnt matter who u r and it is like it schould be in the world with everyone getting togther and smokin some weed and drinking some jack and coke instead of fighting it would be a better world lol!!!!! and then after three doors down kicked ass then NICKLEBACK came on and kicked major ass they fucking rocked they did someday and of coruse everyone was singing cuz that song kicks ass and i was head banging alot of the songs they were just head banging songs lol they played metiacalla song sad but true lol and i that is one of my favorite metaiallca songs so i was singing to it was awsome and then they were like get us some jack and coke and then they were like get everyone some fukcing beers haha so they did if ur underage and need to get beer go to nickleback concert haha we fucking got to drink beer there how great is that lol and then they started poring beer all over us so i smell like beer haha it is great its all in my hair and on my coths and on my arms lol and then they played how u remind me on and we all were drinking and singing and it was great lol they were the shit they made all of us wicked happy lol and then there was these guys next to us who were smokeing pot and shit and it was like hell pass some over here lol it was great and we all kept lighting one up ever few mins lol i smell a mixature of weed and beer it is so funny i got a puddle of mudd t-shirt to omg i will write more later peace out bicthes!!!!!!!!!!!

omg best night ever !!!!!

2004-07-10T06:38:56Z

ok holy shit me and my friend drove from ma to rodeiland 2 hours to see john and so we got the at like 6:15 and the line was so long i thought we would never get to see him we stand in line forever and at like 7 we went to these 2 guys who were all like right next to him and we paid them 20 dollars just to cut haha so we saw him and he was talking abouthow he likes my braclets and he we were haveing like a sort converstion and it was awsome then he signed a few pics i had of him then my friend took a pic of me andhim and he put his arm around me other people he didnt but he did for me and my friend and he let me try on his chain itwas awsome i almost died lol so then we went and ate thnwent back and wacthed him do autographs for an hour and he gave me andmy friend anther hug and get thiss a KISS omg i really thought i was going to die lol and then he was drinking out of this bottle while he was signed all the shit and we got the bottle how awsome is that lol omg best night omg i love john cena!!!!!

bored!!!!!!!

2004-07-02T07:22:45Z

Suicide: The Permanent Solution To A Temporary Problem
Ask the 25-year-old who tried to electrocute himself. He lived. But both his arms are gone.

What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent, with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leapt from a building. Now, he's brain-damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But, worst of all, he KNOWS he used to be normal.

What about pills? Ask the 12-year-old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.

What about a gun? Ask the 24-year-old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide. You might too.

But... Who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning companies may refuse that job--but SOMEONE has to do it.

Who will have to cut you down from where you hung yourself or identify your bloated body after you've drowned? Your father? Your mother? Your wife? Your son?

The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is of no help. Those who loved you will NEVER completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain.

Suicide is contagious. Look around your family. Look closely at the 4 year old playing with his cars on the rug . Kill yourself tonight, and he may do it ten years from now.

You DO have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call your minister or priest. Call a doctor or hospital. Call the police. They will tell you that there's hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a month, or a day away.

You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it? -Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later. And we'll work with whatever you have left.

Remember: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

IF YOU’RE READING THIS, PLEASE STEAL IT AND PUT IT IN YOUR JOURNAL,

hahaha i am bored!!!!!!!!!1

2004-06-23T21:51:01Z

ok so yesterday i went out with christine and she wants to hook me up with like a 20 year old i was like fuck no lol omg so i met the guy yesterday and i wouldnt know what to say cuz he doesnt speak english lol its anthe jak hahaha she can have him to lol omg !!!!!!! so then i came hoome had to go to consuling the 2nd time in 1 day once agian and as usally pointless lol then i came home and called kim but she was working so couldnt talk so i went outside and sat on the rock and i go to my door aqnd i heard mike danielle shannon and my mom all talking about me i was like what the fuck so that pissed me the fuck off and i was not someone who people wanted to chill with lol so then i was pissed and mybrother made it worst the hole noight and i talked to kim till like 2 haha and she was so fucking tried it was so funny hahahaha lol but christine wants yto go for a walk now so i will write about today later maybe after work

last day of school!!!!

2004-06-18T20:46:32Z

ok so ya i didnt go to school cuz i didnt feel good or feel like it so ya me and my christine went walking up and down our street at like 1 in the moring haha she is getting so bigg!!!!!then i went to bed and i woke up and forgot i had to wake my bro up at 7 and i woke up at 9 so he was late so i am going to get bicth out when he gets home and then i woke up ran to bk and then christen pickesd me up and drove the rest of the way then i went home and stuffed my face and then i went to medway high school with becky and i just took a shower neesd to do the dishes then going to relay for life hehe so i will write back later

today!!!!

2004-06-18T01:41:08Z

ok so we did nothing as usally but we wacthed this good movie in english and no one heard the bell lol it was funny haha so then we still did nothing and then we wacthed spiderman in sciens then i went home and forgot that it was thursday and i had to wacth jordan so i did ya and so then i went and wacthed 13 going o30 cuz i have connects and they have it so i got to broworr it hehe!!!!! then i went to the park for beckys vrothers game and after that i went home and i told my mom i am not going to school tomorrow and we started yelling she didnt even say good job that i didnt fial i got 4 b's and 1 d and i worked my ass offf for thoes fucking grades and she fucking doesnt give a shit its fucking bull shit and i hate her and omg y do i even try i am going to go wactrh 13 going on 30 and clam down cuz i am fucking pissed